Notre Dame

I don't know what makes a city appeal to us. I live in Paris, a city revered by human beings for centuries. There are countless books, paintings, movies, songs, plays which, at their heart, have only been odes to Paris. I wonder what makes Paris so appealing to so many people! I saw flames engulf Notre-Dame from my flight. I could hardly make sense of anything from my window, but for a bright yellow dot and a thin streak of smoke far below. That was it. Time, love, art, grandeur, Paris, all diffusing into reality. Nothing should last.

It didn't bother me at the beginning. My first feeling was about how lucky I am to be able to see an event of the decade from the sky. I landed in Barcelona, had good food, laughed along with an old friend and went to sleep. When I woke up, a strange sadness seemed to linger around. Throughout the day it slowly sunk in that Notre-Dame was gone. I never went inside. So I do not know what it held in its lap for nearly a millennium. But it was gone and I never went inside. So I do not know what the world went through as every other part of the structure succumbed to the indifference of fire.

Notre Dame was only the first monument that I saw in Paris. I stood by the Seine, in-front of the towers and clicked a picture. I did not feel like going inside. I haven't read Victor Hugo. Notre Dame was just another church, meant for some other day. I am always fascinated by narrow lanes. I wanted to go behind the cathedral but since my friend was in a hurry, I left it at that. A couple of days later, I went to Notre Dame again, this time on a cold December evening. I had only gone there to visit the alleys behind the cathedral. Now I saw how majestic the church looked from the West. I marveled alone in the cold and reached the criss-cross pont, facing the now-demolished spire. An old musician was playing a melancholic tune as I dropped a one Euro coin in his box. It somehow lifted his spirits and he started playing an upbeat tune. A crowd gathered, an old couple danced and it gave me my first reason to like Paris.

I started living in Paris nearly a year after my first visit. I have taken anyone who visited me in Paris to Notre Dame. None of them went in, since I never went in. I have revolved around Notre Dame countless times, when I had nothing to do, when I just wanted to take a stroll, when I felt like going to Shakespeare and Company, when I had to bring all my friends together on Christmas or New Year's Eve, when I had to take my residence permit, when I wanted a fancy bar of ice cream, when I wanted to enjoy a light and sound show which I couldn't understand, and what not! I never for once went in.

Notre-Dame wasn't just at the heart of Paris. It was the heart of my Paris.

I don't know how the grand old church looks today. I do not know why my Paris revolved around its gargoyles and rigid walls. I do not know why I feel connected to it, only after it's gone.

With the losses mounting in our everyday lives, why would bricks be significant? I would never know. I never went in.