The steak melted beneath his tongue and shut out the light. Real pleasures have always had this peculiar love affair with darkness. Rahul opened his eyes with the taste still lurking teasingly inside him. He took a sip of wine and let it run all around his mouth.
Tom : I have never seen anyone enjoy beef as much as you do!
Rahul : Yeah, I am a religious brahmin after all!
Tom : What's a brahmin?
Rahul : Oh that's just the Indian for hypocrite.
Tom : Why do you call yourself a hypocrite? I don't think you are one.
Rahul : I am not a hypocrite by action. I was born into it.
Tom : Dude, are you fucking with me on a beautiful Saturday morning?
Rahul : Absolutely not. I am teaching you about my country.
Tom : Okay. So can you explain how you are a hypocrite?
Rahul : No, I can't.
Tom made a face which made Rahul smirk.
Tom : What? You don't have anything to say and you're trying to act smart.
Rahul : Exactly. There's your answer.
Tom : How does Stella deal with you?
Rahul : Well, you really don't want to know.
Tom : Okay, but can you please explain your beef thing?
Rahul : It was sarcasm, Tom. India scans cow retinas.
Tom : What?
Rahul : Yes. A section, which our media calls "the majority", considers cows to be sacred. So you commit blasphemy when you have beef.
Tom : But isn't India one of the largest exporters of beef?
Rahul : Your facts are right and wrong. We are the joint largest beef exporters. But we export a lot of buffalo meat. I'm sure some cows slip in once in a while.
Tom : But you Indians don't get to eat it?
Rahul : For centuries now, my dear friend, India is happily sacrificing for the West.
Tom : What bullshit!
Rahul : No no. The shit stays there. The meat doesn't.
Tom : I get your point now.
Rahul : Stella gets me faster. That's how she deals with me.
Tom : So your religion asks you not to eat cows? Holy shit! Stays in India...
Rahul : I don't know. I had no idea religion could communicate.
Tom : You know what I mean...
Rahul : But do you?
Tom (annoyed) : Not again, please.
Rahul (smiling) : Yeah. This is what religion does. Communication Breakdown.
Tom : I have never seen anyone enjoy beef as much as you do!
Rahul : Yeah, I am a religious brahmin after all!
Tom : What's a brahmin?
Rahul : Oh that's just the Indian for hypocrite.
Tom : Why do you call yourself a hypocrite? I don't think you are one.
Rahul : I am not a hypocrite by action. I was born into it.
Tom : Dude, are you fucking with me on a beautiful Saturday morning?
Rahul : Absolutely not. I am teaching you about my country.
Tom : Okay. So can you explain how you are a hypocrite?
Rahul : No, I can't.
Tom made a face which made Rahul smirk.
Tom : What? You don't have anything to say and you're trying to act smart.
Rahul : Exactly. There's your answer.
Tom : How does Stella deal with you?
Rahul : Well, you really don't want to know.
Tom : Okay, but can you please explain your beef thing?
Rahul : It was sarcasm, Tom. India scans cow retinas.
Tom : What?
Rahul : Yes. A section, which our media calls "the majority", considers cows to be sacred. So you commit blasphemy when you have beef.
Tom : But isn't India one of the largest exporters of beef?
Rahul : Your facts are right and wrong. We are the joint largest beef exporters. But we export a lot of buffalo meat. I'm sure some cows slip in once in a while.
Tom : But you Indians don't get to eat it?
Rahul : For centuries now, my dear friend, India is happily sacrificing for the West.
Tom : What bullshit!
Rahul : No no. The shit stays there. The meat doesn't.
Tom : I get your point now.
Rahul : Stella gets me faster. That's how she deals with me.
Tom : So your religion asks you not to eat cows? Holy shit! Stays in India...
Rahul : I don't know. I had no idea religion could communicate.
Tom : You know what I mean...
Rahul : But do you?
Tom (annoyed) : Not again, please.
Rahul (smiling) : Yeah. This is what religion does. Communication Breakdown.
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